An Easter Story...

“According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” -- Jerry Seinfeld

As you may or may not know-- I was recently hired as Director of the Riverside Children's Art Center, which is located at Riverside Christian Church. On my first day, eager as I was, the pastor of the church came into my office.

"Mandy, you look like you have some dramatic flare... would you play Mary Magdalene on Easter Sunday. Just a short monologue for a crowd of 70-80 people?"

Seeing as he's my boss, and it was my first day and I had in my younger years of 5 or 6 recited a few lines in front of a church-- I agreed with a smile.

I learned my lines.

I practiced for the dog.

Then this morning at 7:30 ... oh god.

Line one-- check
line two-- check
line three-- check
line four... oh god... yes in front of that crowd of 70-80 of my fellow church patrons, my new boss and several members of the board I forgot my lines, my mind went blank and my floundering mouth working independently of my brain quipped -- not as quietly as I'd hoped-- "Oh God!"

At this point people started whispering and taking pictures. (Yes, someone stood up with their phone and snapped a piece of history.)

On the plus side, it was convenient to have an excuse to overlook the line, " I felt like a butterfly freed from its cocoon."

I did recover, and say the second half of the monologue. But not without the pastor noticing my not-so-quiet "prayer."

His comment: "well, Mandy, at least you didn't say "god-damn-it I forgot my lines!"